Oh, You Drive Me Insane
by m0rbidreality
Summary: Song Fic again, Kikyou and InuYasha [ dont kill me! ]. Eat You Alive -- by Limp Bizkit. Sorry, but some of the html messed up, and so the lyrics arent in bold. But you should still be able to distinguish them, especially if you know the song!


You Drive Me Insane  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha and co. I also don't own this song, which is called "Eat You Alive", and done by Limp Bizkit. ^-^ I don't own anything, okay? ;-;  
  
Authors' Notes: So I'm bored during sixth hour, out in the hallway because my teacher hates me. I snuck my CD player out with me so I wouldn't be bored. And this song came on another one of my burned CDs! Well, it just reminded me of Kikyou and InuYasha's situation. Okay, and for all you who are going to flame because it is Kikyou instead of Kagome - get a freaking life. In the anime, it ends up that way, so why always stay the same with the results? It is boring. And I'm not exactly a fan of Kikyou and InuYasha hooking up, either! Still, I think it's good to have variety, so yea. On with the fic.  
  
===  
  
Crazy. The scent of her - however empty and hollow - was in the air, and it was driving him absolutely crazy. It had been with him all throughout supper and he had done his best to act normal and ignore it. But it was impossible.  
  
She had a vague, unfathomable scent of crisp, sharp nothingness, with the slightest trace of the lovely scent she had once had long, long ago - but even with his sensitive, keen nose, he could barely pick it up and register it. But just knowing she was nearby had been enough to drive him insane throughout the day. She had been far enough away so that her soul stealers weren't visible to his friends yet - but now, they were.  
  
He looked around him - around the dimming campfire. Long ago, they had all fallen asleep. Sango was tuckered out from a long day of fighting youkai, and Miroku, who never usually fell asleep until a brief period of time before InuYasha himself did, had dozed off, staff held within his grasp, underneath a nearby tree. Shippou's sleeping form was cuddled close to Kagome, who was resting peacefully, just like the rest.  
  
Kagome.the name was a whisper in his mind. The girl stirred up a mixture of feelings inside of him. And though at some times it gave him great mirth to be feeling that splendidly at the mere sight of her, he also always felt guilty. It was a painful remembrance of feelings he felt, so very strongly - despairingly -for her.  
  
Kikyou.  
  
He stood up slowly, looked around, then hesitated. Why was he acting so paranoid, as if he was about to do something very naughty?  
  
Shit, he scoffed, he was the leader of their group, not to mention, he wasn't some worthless, puny mortal who couldn't take care of himself. He had nobody to answer to and could leave the camp whenever he damn well felt like it! Regardless of what anybody else thought.  
  
Besides . everybody was asleep. And he would be back by morning. there was no doubt of that. He just had to see her - had to get his "fix", so to speak.  
  
Hey, you! Miss I don't know what-the-fuck your name is I'm drawn to you, Something's magnetic here  
  
He knew she probably sensed his presence with that new ethereal power she seemed to have, which was - of course - unlikely for mortals. Then again, he didn't know what Kikyou was.  
  
He didn't even know who she was anymore.  
  
It was amazing, how she still looked entirely the same. She had those long locks of tamed ebony hair, smooth and slick and perfect. Her eyes were the same violet-brown color as they had always been, only they seemed darker, as if they stared into some bleak inner-horizon. Her features were still exquisite and doll-like, perfect porcelain, though they lacked any trace of facial expression. You'd think she would appear serene. However, even though she did appear to be calm, she also had a restless, unsettled aura about her -  
  
Vengeance. It's the revenge she needs to claim with me; the betrayal she feels has occurred to her...She wants me dead, and she wants herself dead, and she doesn't want things like they used to be, and I know things can never be like they used to be.she won't let them be; and it's impossible.  
  
and InuYasha knew exactly why. She sat, clad in the same burgundy and white robe she'd always worn as a priestess - only without the bloodstains. -- beneath a willow tree that looked so sad, so forlorn. Soul collectors encircled her entire form every few minutes, and she didn't even look up.  
  
If I could approach you Or even get close to the scent that you left behind, I'd be fine  
  
"InuYasha, why do you linger, hidden among the many trees of this forest? You know that I am always aware when your presence is around me." She sounded amused, but her voice also seemed empty at the same time, and still, she didn't look up at him. But something about the way she had emphasized the 'your' in her statement made him feel so.alone. The feeling was quickly masked, and he stepped out from behind the trees lining the secluded area she kept herself in.  
  
"Kikyou." Of course, he didn't know what to say. He never did. He thought about it whenever he was by himself and had time to think of all those sad things in his life that made up the horrible person that he was - he thought about telling her that he loved her, that he wanted things to be able to work out between them.  
  
But InuYasha didn't know how they would - and he didn't know how to say it, either. Even so, she made it all too apparent that she hated him. Or seemed to, most of the time. Sometimes, there was still that tiny flicker of remembrance in her eyes, for the briefest of seconds that left him to wonder.  
  
"And have you left your friends in secrecy to come to this place and simply say my name?" She lifted her head some, tilting it to the side, and locks of raven seemed to fall before her face ever so slightly, before she lifted a hand to return them obediently to their proper place.  
  
Her lips were pursed and her eyes had a flame of wicked innocence within them. But Kikyou wasn't innocent, and she didn't sparkle with naiveté like Kagome did. She didn't have enough of a soul for that. Even if she did have all of her soul - god forbid, because it would mean that Kagome was dead - InuYasha wasn't sure if she could be innocent after all that she had gone through, during life and during this half-lived existence.  
  
No doubt that You bring out the animal inside  
  
He found himself asking her, "What are you doing here, Kikyou?" Though it took a lot of effort for the proud hanyou to speak. The last thing he had heard about her from Kaede was that she had returned to the small village that had been her home and continued with tending to the ill. Then again, with his constant travelling and fighting, there wasn't much time to catch up on the hearsay.  
  
"Wandering, InuYasha. That is all I'm left to do. Naraku refuses to let me return to the simple life that I once had, but that is fine with me. Nothing effects me anymore, so of course it wouldn't bother me. Wandering is the only thing I can take up the hours of the day with."  
  
He didn't feel sorry for her. How could he feel sorry for her when she truly, honesty didn't care about it? So he simply nodded his head.  
  
"How goes it, InuYasha? Your little trip with my reincarnate, that is . and by the way, how is the little." She paused to choose her words carefully, though she didn't really look as if it mattered to her one iota if she upset him or not. ". Girl?" she managed to finish off with.  
  
"Kagome?" He blinked some. A picture of the girl in that sassy school uniform, riding her bike alongside him with Shippou on her shoulders, smiling, appeared in his head - making him feel guilty. Of course, Kikyou knew that that would happen - just as she knew that he would always come see her when she was nearby. "Her name is Kagome," he declared firmly. "And she's doing well."  
  
"Really. She's a human girl, worthless, I'm sure.and yet you seem to allow this girl to continue on with you. The InuYasha I knew didn't care one bit about any human girl, especially one who caused him so much pain, and needed so much protection all the time," Kikyou mused. "Has it been that easy to replace me, InuYasha?"  
  
"Kikyou." He lost his train of thought for a moment. He was unable to move and unable to breath. Why did she have to talk about Kagome like that? She wasn't worthless, exactly - she could detect jewel shards, and there was something unsettling about the thought of Kagome leaving, anyway. And just because when he looked at her once in a while he caught a glimpse of Kikyou, that didn't mean anything.  
  
As for replacing Kikyou, he didn't even know how to begin trying to fathom that. He didn't want to, either, though a part of him still longed for Kagome as it did for Kikyou - well, somewhere along those lines.  
  
"Kikyou. You know I love you. What happened between us." He frowned. "It wasn't my fault, though I swear I'd have done more to protect you if I could have. If I could go back and fix things, Kikyou, I would. I really would."  
  
"Tell me, InuYasha," Kikyou bit out cruelly, "does saying that make anything better? Does it bring this half-living corpse, cold and emotionless, back to life? Does it make me who I once was? How you think your explanations and excuses are any retribution to me, I'll never know." Her hateful glare grew even more menacing.  
  
I'd eat you alive. Hey you Miss too-good-to look-my-way and that's cool You want nothing at all to do with me  
  
"And tell me, InuYasha." she continued on, her tone neutral once more, "does protecting her make you feel better? She'll never be able to take my place, InuYasha. You'll never forget about me - my spirit won't let you. I wonder if you can even begin to comprehend the depths of my hatred for you."  
  
InuYasha had heard her say many things like this before. But it still hurt, each and every single time. Still, he kept a straight face.  
  
Her expression flickered with sorrow for a moment. "Everywhere I take my rest, there seems to be a willow tree. I'm always beneath a willow tree. It cries and weeps with sorrow for me, because I cannot do it for myself. I am allowed to feel nothing. The only thing I am free to do is hate, InuYasha. So I have to make plentiful with my supply of the one emotion I do have."  
  
"Kikyou, why won't you just listen to me? Why do you hate me so very much?" He cried out. InuYasha clenched his fists, and the edges of his sharp claw dug into his own skin. Still, he was oblivious, even as the small traces of blood dripped down from his palms.  
  
She laughed. It was a bitter, hard laugh that he could never recognize as being Kikyou, and yet, could never forget. "Did you think it would be that simple, InuYasha.really? That one day while you came to visit me, sitting here all by myself, I would suddenly decide to forgive you for letting this happen to me?" She stood, drawing nearer to him.  
  
"I'd look at you, as if I were about to cry." And her eyes weren't moist, but they showed great sorrow, and her lower lip trembled slightly.  
  
"Then, I would start to shake from sorrow." And her body did appear to be trembling, ever so slightly.  
  
"I'd throw myself into your embrace -" Her voice had grown to a whisper, even as she did exactly as she had said - and launched in his arms, holding herself close to him. He was startled, eyes wide, but said nothing.  
  
"And then." Her voice was a throaty whisper, her lips grazing his silver hair and a kiss to his hearing senses, "I'd tell you how much I love you."  
  
He was about to say something, anything, when he felt cold steel pressed tight against his back. He could almost see her grin, and then she pulled away, tucking it into the belt of her robe.  
  
"Is that what you expected?"  
  
But I want you, ain't nothing wrong with wanting you 'Cause I'm a man and I can think what the hell I want You got that straight?  
  
He stared at her with an ironic smile twisted upon his lips, and she gave him a smug grin in return. His pain amused her, he knew. She enjoyed seeing him in even the slightest amount of frustration. She wanted him to suffer. Not just suffer, but she wanted him to be completely and utterly miserable for the rest of his pathetic existence.  
  
"I never know what to expect from you, my Kikyou," he managed to reply. Still, he stood in the same position he had been since he had first encountered her in.  
  
No doubt that I'd love to sniff on them panties now I'd eat you alive  
  
"But don't you just long to see me smiling at you?" She mused, tilting her head. "You bastard!" She cried, though it wasn't angrily so much as helplessly. Then, she spoke again, regaining her cool.  
  
"Don't you long to touch me and see me as you once did, in my own splendor? I know you dream about me, InuYasha." Her tone of voice was chiding, as if he had been caught doing something horrible, and she had a the-cat-that- licked-the-cream-bowl-clean-and-ate-the-canary-too smile upon her face.  
  
His cheeks heated, and his eyes nearly bulged when Kikyou began to undo the belt that held her thin robe in place.  
  
Just what the hell was she doing?  
  
In moments, Kikyou had disrobed before his very eyes. She was taunting him. Standing there, he felt himself responding to her lovely form, even without making any contact. She saw this, and laughed wickedly. "Go to hell, InuYasha," she muttered.  
  
The only thing marring her form was that long, jagged scar that covered her body where she had been assaulted by Naraku in an InuYasha disguise.  
  
And he saw that so clearly. Frowning, he reached forward, and touched the scar.  
  
She didn't stop him.  
  
I'm sorry, so sorry (damn you're so hot) Your beauty is so vain (damn you're so hot)  
  
"Go ahead, InuYasha," she whispered in his ear. "You know you want to. Don't you wonder all the time what it feels like?"  
  
He didn't know why she was doing this to him. Surely, it had to be a trick. But still, he couldn't resist clamping his mouth down upon hers. Hard, warm, searching.  
  
And it led to so much more than that. InuYasha felt himself being lost to his own passions and Kikyou.  
  
.She responded. But it wasn't as if some passion had been ignited within her. It was simply that - a response to all his caresses.  
  
It drives me, yes it drives me (damn you're so hot) Absolutely insane  
  
And when he was done, when he had been fulfilled as he hoped she was, he still lay atop her, though propped on his elbows so he didn't crush her with his weight. He breathed deeply, and was about to say something.  
  
Till suddenly, he felt cold steel being slammed down in his back. Hard, and painfully. Of course, it came with a follow-through - on the adjoining shoulder, she did the same thing.  
  
He winced. More from the fact that he should have known it was coming, and from the fact that he knew it had been caused by Kikyou, than from the mere fact that it had been an injury that was painful.  
  
"How does it feel, InuYasha, to have the world turn on you in a mere few moments?" She grinned up at him, unabashed by her nudity. "You bastard. Stupid fucking hanyou scum."  
  
InuYasha had never thought that his Kikyou could speak that way.  
  
Then again, he was blind to most of the flaws about her.  
  
And then again, she wasn't his Kikyou.  
  
He stood up, as did she, pulling on her robe. He did the same. She still held the sharp piece of steel in her hand, pointed out towards him.  
  
"You, InuYasha, have made another one of your stupid, half-dog mistakes. You'll never forget these last few moments. They'll haunt you, you know," she smiled sweetly. "What will your dear Kagome think when she sees those little marks on your neck?" She reached out towards him, and made a deep gash across his chest.  
  
And it didn't stop there. She continued stabbed at him - not really aiming, just attempting to slice away anything she could.  
  
And like she had done for him - not stopping when he had wanted to do something.  
  
He didn't stop her.  
  
He didn't have the strength too, anyway.  
  
I just wanna look at you, i just wanna look at you I just wanna look at you all day There ain't nothing wrong, no There ain't nothing with that  
  
"InuYasha!" Kagome gasped. The group had been so worried about him when they woke up and he hadn't been there, especially Kagome, who feared he had been taken by a youkai in the night. Of course, she knew InuYasha could handle himself - though it took a while to covince herself that - but still, the thought of him getting hurt way . not a pleasant thing.  
  
So when Sango and Miroku had gone off hunting for a meal, she had wanted to stay - by herself, without even the company of Shippou - to wait and see if he would return, just in case. Of course, he inevitabley did - but she figured, he didn't want to have to give anybody an explanation. Not that she felt she really needed one.  
  
InuYasha limped through the rest of the clearing and closer towards her, wincing. He didn't rant and scream about some stupid youkai that had caused the marks, he didn't tell her to shut the fuck up and stop whining about it because it was just a few scratches - he didn't say anything.  
  
"InuYasha, please.let me fix it." She reached out, and stopped after a few moments. Her eyes lay on the nibble marks left there only a little while beforehand.  
  
Once you seep in under my skin There's nothing, there's nothing in this world That could wash you away  
  
"Kagome."  
  
"InuYasha," she smiled regretfully, and shook her head. "You don't have to explain anything to me. It isn't my business what you do with Kikyou."  
  
"Kagome, I'm sorry for hurting you." That was all he could think of to say.  
  
"InuYasha," she said, while cleaning out his wounds and bandaging them up slowly, "I have nothing to be mad at you for. I told you I understood."  
  
Once you seep in under my skin There's nothing, there's nothing in this world That could wash you away  
  
"How.how come?" he asked. "Are you stupid or something? I ran off in the middle of the night while you were all sleeping, and ."  
  
"Please, do me the favor of not finishing your sentence, though." She smiled again as she finished up the bandaging.  
  
"But why?"  
  
"It's because." she paused a few moments, hesitating. He stared at her, and finally, though reluctantly, she continued on speaking.  
  
"InuYasha. I know that even though I'm so hurt right now, you did things because you were hurt, too. And . you love Kikyou. That's okay. And I understand, because . when you're in love, you do crazy things. Trust me. I know from experience. But I'll always forgive you anyway, InuYasha." She blushed some, then stood. Walking off.  
  
InuYasha stared after her. The reincarnate who cared so much about him when she didn't think he returned the affection - and she knew he would never be able to be with her. She shouldn't have cared so much about him, he knew, but it still made him feel a bit more mellow. Relaxed.  
  
He looked off over the small hill while Kagome was washing off her hands - and he saw a few of Kikyou's soul collectors carrying her off, and her form was outlined.  
  
This was all always because of her. She drove him crazy.  
  
I'm sorry, so sorry (damn you're so hot) Your beauty is so vague (damn you're so hot) It drives me, yes it drives me (damn you're so hot) Absolutely insane 


End file.
